WHY BEING A WOMAN IS DIFFICULT TO SURVIVE IN SOCIETY

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"Be nice. Don’t be loud. Don’t be stubborn. Don’t argue. Be modest. Be respectful. Don’t speak out. Be a good wife. Be a good daughter. Be a good sister. Uphold the family honour."- these words kill me like anything or you can say these words just make me feel the worst when said by anyone.
Life of an Indian girl is heavily fed on guilt and it becomes more tough as you grow up. We are brought up making us feel guilty of our existence. In both the cases of being beautiful or being ugly, the society puts you down. If you are beautiful, you are forced to feel guilty because you would catch men’s attention and if you are ugly, you won't get a good groom. Similarly in the case of being tall or short, the same problem exists. If you are tall, you  have guilt of not finding a matching guy for yourself and if short, no guy will marry you because of height. I go out with friends and enjoy, I feel guilty. I am forced to feel I am doing something wrong.
It's completely natural for men to stare women. So women need to cover up to help men to not stare.
Once a girl turns 21, getting her married becomes her family's top priority. Parents, relatives and even their friends eagerly undertake a mission to find the perfect match for her.
During this perfect match search, we are 'advertised' on the basis of our physical attributes like our complexion, features and height not our educational qualifications. It doesn't end here because after being judged by our bodies, we even need to make a payment in the form of dowry to get men to marry us.
All our lives we are objectified. Parents refer us a 'Paraya Dhan' , boyfriends as 'chicks' , lusty men as 'Maal' and some as 'Bojh'.
When women talk about making own choice, they are presure to be wrong in a way or other.
Being an adult woman becomes even more difficult as it is the time of making decisions. If we decide to go to college after high school, we're probably only looking for a husband. If we decide not to go to school, we don't value ourselves. If we get married we want the guy or his family to provide for us. If we don't get married, it's because we aren't attractive or worth it.
If we have children after marriage we're giving up on our career and no longer care about our bodies and have decided to only live for our kids. If we don't have children we're selfish narcissists.
If we are stay-at-home moms we're lazy parasites, sucking the life out of other's bank account. If we decide to return to work, then again we are selfish and don't bother about the child anymore. If we dislike another woman we're traitors to the sisterhood and if we dislike a man we're feminist psychopaths. If we cry, we're emotional basket cases and if we don't cry, we're cold-hearted bitches incapable of feeling anything. If we write about how difficult it is to be a woman, we're ungrateful and probably an annoying feminist. If we don't then we're so adapted in the ever-present patriarchy that surrounds us.
How anyone possibly expects us to feel confident with the decisions that is beyond us.
Seriously.
I don't understand it.

Comments

  1. Anonymous23 November 2018 at 21:22

    The inherent truth about being a woman. Mostly we are silent, accepting. It seems that at some point, we just decided that this is the way things are. Thank you for sharing it.😊

    ReplyDelete

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